SNP soft-commit to 2099 referendum
Despite a promise to hold a second referendum at the last election, the SNP have outlined the end of the century as a 'modest chance' for Indyref2.
While the SNP and Scottish Green Party hold a pro-independence majority in Holyrood, there has been little said about imminent plans.
"We've got a good feeling about then," Senior Campaign Strategist Neil MacCormick stated when asked about 2099. "What we need is a time of economic and social uncertainty within the United Kingdom, such as leaving a larger political union. At that point, the argument that we're leaving a stable, safe economy holds no water. Even better, have Scotland vote to stay in and get dragged out. "
"Secondly, we'd need there to be a real child's drawing of a bumbling Tory in charge at Westminster, a complete and utter dishonest, contemptible clown."
"Third, we need someone in charge that doesn't have the stink of sleaze or sexual assault, regardless of real or fabricated. The better behaved, the better. No more 'boys will be boys' types."
"Fourth, and this is the real moving target, we would need some sort of crisis that allowed our leader to rise to the challenge and provide a favourable contrast to Westminster leadership."
"But honestly, who knows when all those stars will align? Fuck it, let's pencil in 2145 to buy us some time."
At time of writing, the Scottish National Party were discussing how to make posters and badges with rewritable years on them, including the 2 at the front.