After cancelling Britain’s largest modern infrastructure project, promising to cut taxes (but only for top earners), and suggesting banning 20mph speed limits across the country, Sunak began throwing things at the wall to attract Tories being swayed by Starmer.
“I get it, fox hunting is unpopular as it’s exclusionary and only for the ri… hardest working amongst you,” said Sunak at a press conference. “So what if, once a month, we leave a dead fox on your driveway. Then you plebs can make soup out of them whatever it is you do.”
“Well what do they want?” Retorted Sunak when asked if he’d asked the public what they wanted instead of his Etonian friends. “Wha… ‘Right to Die’? They all want to die? What is wrong with these people?”
At press time an out of touch and moody Sunak was weighing how a last-ditch ‘Keep Britain White’ campaign would go down before realising what he was suggesting.