Our Political Editor was reviewing the year of 2022 and trying to form a cohesive narrative of the Conservative Party leadership election. It was decided that this was akin to trying to count chimpanzee turds as they sailed between primates overhead while joining them in the enclosure.
However, our editor was struck by the complete lack of focus on the fact that Riki Sunak, the man who came in to save the country from Truss and a potential BoJo return, had paid British civilians to go and spread Covid in the middle of the pandemic before there was a vaccine.
“It is baffling to remember,” said John Hughes, a Political Science lecturer at Strathclyde. “I remember going to Nando’s in July 2020 and getting half off while watching the table next to me cough into their dinner. What the fuck was I doing there? Did that actually happen?”
In addition to this, our Political Editor had to take a half day and go for counselling when he remembered that Sunak was also criminally charged for his part in Partygate and was rewarded with the Conservative Party leadership.