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  • Ian Marcus Wright

SNP considers running in London constituencies

With Boris' resignation and a vote on Independence in the future, the Scottish National Party have surprised many political experts by declaring they're exploring a run for seats in the south of England.

"You'd think a party hellbent on the implosion of the United Kingdom wouldn't fair well in England, but they keep voting Tory, so you never know," mused Dr. Kent, the head of History & Politics at Oxford.

Within the English Labour party, the idiots are laughing at the idea of competing with the SNP, but their smarter colleagues are starting to look worried. "The policies of free prescriptions and education are actually going down a treat in polls," said a statistician working for Starmer.

"Rejoining the EU is also a big positive on the left wing. Maybe we should try some of these leftie policies ourselves."

The statistician was later fired for suggesting a party founded by Keir Hardie should consider socially beneficial policies.

What would happen to the party holding English in the result of Scottish Independence is an open question, although the idea has been floated of each constituency voting whether or not to join Scotland when it leaves.

"Imagine that," said MP Ian Blackford. "The Independent Republic of Scotland and London. That would boil some piss."

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