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  • Ian Marcus Wright

Scottish Conservatives leader tests negative for covid, personality

Following a period of isolation, the Scottish Tories' leader has been given a negative result for covid or any discernible personality.

Stepping into the comfortable shoes of Ruth Davidson would be a difficult affair for any leader; the only Scottish Conservative to be afforded a reluctant respect from the left wing. But the former part-time linesman (literal red flags) has failed to illicit a descriptive sentence from anyone who knows him.

"It's the weirdest thing," said Doctor John Adamson, when he reported on the results. "We weren't even testing for that."

When asked for comment, Ross' office said they'd have a response once they got permission from Downing Street.

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