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  • Ian Marcus Wright

Scottish Exam Board Appeals Replaced with Trial by Combat


Following the Scottish Exam Board's dissolution, Holyrood has announced that students will be able to challenge an exam administrator to a one-on-one fight to the death.


After much discussion and debate, it was decided that the pupils will et to choose between shortswords, maces or flails. Bastard swords were discounted due to too much sniggering.


"On one hand, I think I could take them," said Alexander Henderson, a 6th year hoping to study Architecture at Strathy. "On the other, I'm not sure I should risk getting disemboweled over raising a B in Chemistry."


"I only wish they had done this sooner," declared his opponent, Thomas Charles Hope, as he practised his stab and twist motion.

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