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  • Ian Marcus Wright

Scots Urged to Get Drunk and Tell Their Boss to Fuck Off Over Zoom

As Omicron cases spike across the country, the Scottish government is urging citizens to forego office Christmas parties and seek socially distanced methods of making an arse of yourself in front of your colleagues.

These can include setting your Zoom background to a crude photoshop of your HR representative in the nude, writing dirty limericks on public Slack channels or calling bomb threats on your colleagues while they're live in meetings.

To finish the evening it is recommended to play Runrig's Loch Lomond, throw up on a cherished pet and call for an extremely confused Uber to take you home.

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