The leaders of the world have gathered in Glasgow to commit to a slew of policies intended to save the earth from climate change.
One of the first such is a vow to end deforestation by 2030, probably because by then we will have made it through the entire Amazon rainforest.
"It's going to take a lot of work," said Brazilian president Bolsonaro, "but we believe in less than ten years we can have replaced the entire woodland with cattle pasture and oil derricks."
Next week a commitment to saving the Arctic is expected to be announced, mostly by melting it all into easily manageable water instead of all that pesky ice.
It is believed that over the next twenty years, due to climate change, endangered species such as the polar bear and tiger will join the unicorn and manticore on the list of animals that used to exist, but we pretend didn't so no one blames us for them being missing.