A recent poll gave support for Scottish Independence a 10% lead, ensuring that Westminster will definitely never condone a second referendum.
"It's a shame," lamented First Minister Sturgeon. "We really wanted to see twenty to thirty percent, ideally even in the low teens. We do best when the Tories take it for granted that they'll win. But a substantial majority in the polls before we've even kicked off a campaign? Nah, we're fucked."
The SNP is currently tabling a bill to cover the Scottish Parliament in Union Jacks and to mandate pictures of the Queen to be projected on every national landmark, to help goad Boris into a false sense of security.