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  • Ian Marcus Wright

First Bus to make 50% of fleet electric, drunken patrons pleased to hear

The announcement that First Bus is making strides in green energy has been met with delight by their principal clientele, when they were told about it at 3am outside Glasgow Central.

"It's great to hear that a company so crucial to Glasgow's transport infrastructure is taking its climate commitments seriously," James Burnett mused, while peeing on the back of the driver's seat.

"Hopefully this will allow the CO2 levels on Gordon street to return to safe levels," George Turnbull agreed, in between spells of puking up a rancid kebab.

At present, a busload of inebriated souls were lulled to sleep by the quiet electric engine and will spend the weekend in the depot after missing their stops.

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