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  • Ian Marcus Wright

Boris Fucking Up Too Fast, Satire Sites Can't Keep Up

Updated: Jan 14



(Jan 2022 Edit - well this one became pretty evergreen, didn't it?)


(Edit - we published this a while back and are close to giving up again since the Peppa Pig speech incident. Also, why any Tory leader would ever want to evoke a pig again is beyond us.)


The past couple of weeks have been a blizzard of political fiascos that have paralysed the staff writers of Strathclyde Spotlight.


Between flip-flopping on Covid isolation and the cavalcade of Cummings' confessions, putting together a strong or possible narrative has been mentally exhausting.


With one clear day, so far, we will be putting aside the prime minister's silly antics and work on some deep political analysis.


Update : three minutes after publishing, it was reported that the prime minister has adopted an African chimpanzee named Bojo. Boris does not know why this name is amusing journalists.


Update : five minutes after publishing, a violent altercation was heard within 10 Downing Street.


Update : six minutes after publishing, Boris was heard threatening the chimp with a gun.


Update : 7 minutes after publishing, the chimp now has the gun.


Update : 8 minutes after publishing, No. 10 has announced Bojo is now the Secretary of Agriculture and their first policy is to convert the Eden Project to a banana plantation. The editor would like to go to bed now.

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