After three lockdowns and some industries incorporating working-from-home permanently, the soundscape of the workplace is being irrevocably changed. A Dundee artist is trying to preserve the sound of a busy office as he's clearly never had to spend 30 hours a week in one.
The poor man, Siôn Parkinson, has asked the public to provide sound recordings of the background hum of an office environment, and is now drowning in a violent soundscape of the exact stuff we didn't want to go back the workplace for.
"I sent him three of my best tracks; the gentle tinkle of a golfball entering a coffee mug as since I have all my employees do the actual work, the sound of fingers clacking keys faster as I approach, and the crisp smack of a managerial hand on the rear of a business suit skirt. Won't hear them like that anymore," sighed Jock Langley, a director currently facing four sexual harassment charges.
Parkinson has now asked for no one else to send in examples of woman interviewees being asked if they're planning on getting pregnant soon or passive aggressive remarks about missing pen lids.
"It's amazing," said Parkinson. "After graduating I spent 2018 sleeping in homeless camps in Brazil and 2019 in Syria. I had no idea that the worst environment was actually the constant, low-key political warfare of a British office space."