Proponents of political integrity are outraged to hear that the champion of the people, Owen Paterson, is resigning. The championed people in question are the owners of Randox and Lynn's Country Foods.
In a statement, Paterson opens with "The process I have been subject to does not comply with natural justice." After consulting a panel of ethical theologians and legal experts, Strathclyde Spotlight has found that the idea that justice is natural and not a man-made concept is at best shaky, but also from the legal perspective, in any proper society what he did would be called a 'bribe'.
If any readers are not feeling cynical enough about our democracy yet, the charge brought against Paterson was for "non-disclosure", meaning in Britain an elected official can take money from a company and steer government policy to better their own interests as long as they say it out loud first. This would be like a brick coming through your window with "Burglary Incoming" written on it being enough for the individual to not face charges.
In addition to the MP's base salary of £81,932, the Herald reports that Randox and Lynn's Country Foods paid Paterson in excess of £100,000 annually, so we hope he finds something equally fruitful outwith the cruel world of politics.