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  • Ian Marcus Wright

UPDATED : Ross to soldier on despite popular demand

Updated: 3 days ago

UPDATE 26/05/22: Since this was published Ross has continued to decry and defend Johnson. I'd say we don't like being right, but, you know...

Council elections are considered by political experts (i.e. wankers) as a decent indicator for future elections in Holyrood and Westminster; despite the fact that very few people can be arsed voting for who collects the bins.

If such a theory holds true, then the Scottish Conservatives are in trouble, dropping from a far second to third in the polls, now behind both the SNP and Labour.

This has happened under the stewardship of Douglas Ross, the only Scottish Tory willing to pick up the unpinned grenade left by his predecessor.

Despite not being in a position to legislate, Ross has succeeded in coming across as a complete fuckwit nonetheless. This impression was set in concrete following a 30 day period in which Ross called for Johnson’s resignation and defended his decision to stay in as PM. All this while the English Conservatives, (i.e. his lords and masters), can't bloody stand him.

"I've never net a bridge I didn't burn," explained the leader of the Scottish Conservatives.

The act of licking the boots of those who whip you is a fond past time of Etonians, which they usually pay a great deal of money for in London's favourite exotic clubs. The fact that Ross also likes it to be done somehow both remotely and publicly is baffling.

Privately Ross had allegedly considered packing it all in a while ago and going back to being paid to wave flags at football matches until he was reminded they couldn't be union jacks.

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