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  • Ian Marcus Wright

Queen mistakes champion of Royal Windsor Horse show for her eldest son.

"Charles is looking spry these days," mused her majesty as she viewed the specimen trotting along the green.

According to palace insiders, the queen's ailments have her on a raft of medications that may be leaving her a little loopy.

"In fairness, the long face, the gangly teeth and general expression of vague bewilderment... I can see where' she's coming from," confided her doctor.

"At least he's eating well," she was heard to murmur as the stallion dropped a gargantuan turd.

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