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  • Ian Marcus Wright

Prince wearing enough gold to start a bank talks about the cost of living

Atop a literal gold throne, one of the country's favourite inbreds warbled about the government's plans to ease the cost of living.

While this was the opening promise of the speech, the list of included bills makes no mention of financial help for those struggling.

This is the first year that the queen had to opt out of the bill (and reluctantly let a giddy Charles play boss for a day) due to growing health concerns. Republican-minded Scots are conflicted as if she dies before the Jubilee, we may miss a bank holiday, but if she can limp on past then we get a bank holiday and a national day of 'mourning' thrown in.

The speech was also followed by PM Johnson saying we can't spend our way out of this problem, making it clear they're going to do fuck all, and not acknowledging that "spending our way out of it" is now left to every household in the UK to do.

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