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  • Ian Marcus Wright

Boris slowly realising he’s not Don Draper from Mad Men

The previous several weeks have painted a sordid picture of life in Number 10 - a culture of rampant alcoholism, partying in offices and zero accountability.

However, with mounting pressure to quit, it is becoming apparent to Johnson, with glacial torpidity, that the public is generally not charmed by his roguish hair, unsettling fecundity and verbal whirlwind approach to direct questions.

“When you understand that in his head, he’s Jon Hamm in the early 60s, it all makes a sad kind of sense” said an an anonymous source within Downing Street.

“The fact that Mad Men is about the hollow, sad lives of the main characters and the surface level machismo bullshit is purely to mask the desperate melancholy that envelops them all is also, somehow, lost on him.”

At press time Downing Street claimed box sets of Entourage and Suits on an expense form, so it can only get worse for the nation.

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